This was on Weddingbee a few days ago.

I’ve honestly never understood the point of bridal portraits. I think they are mainly a Southern thing and usually involve a picture of the bride being displayed at the reception….but why? I don’t particularly want an extra 100-200 photos of just me in my wedding dress. It seems awfully….egotistical? But I know there are many brides who do have bridal portraits done (and practically every wedding location lets you use their site for free just for bridal portraits), and these GORGEOUS examples from Erik from Poser in Texas almost make me change my mind.

I’ve been thinking of adding a bit of sparkle to my shoes. Don’t get me wrong: I LOVE my shoes, but they could be a little bit sparklier.

Enter Absolutely Audrey.

They sell shoe clips, inspired by Audrey Hepburn. Here are some I’m considering:

And my shoes again:

So add some sparkle or keep them the way they are? Thoughts?

Okay, I’m a little bit of a feminist. Not the men-should-die-and-women-should-take-over-the-world type, but just your general hey!-equality-is-good type. One thing that annoys me to no end is the titles we use for people. Why, why, why, oh why does it matter if we show that a woman is married through her title but not a man? And why do formal invitations require that we only use the man’s name? But I know there are some women out there who love being Mrs. Joe Schmo, and I fully respect their opinions (I will be happy to be referred to as Ms. Jessica Hamric after we are married, please). But then, what do I do when addressing my wedding invitations?

Should I just forgo my personal feelings and opt for the traditional…

Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Schmo

Should I opt to only use Ms. instead of Mrs?

Mr. and Ms. Joseph Schmo

Should I say screw formal etiquette and include the woman’s name?

Mr. Joseph and Ms. Jane Schmo
Mr. Joseph and Mrs. Jane Schmo

Although, I think there is some crazy etiquette rule that says never split up a man’s name……so should it be…

Ms. Jane and Mr. Joseph Schmo
Mrs. Jane and Mr. Joseph Schmo

Should I treat them like married couples with different last names (in which case, Ms. is the only proper title there is to use)?

Ms. Jane Schmo and Mr. Joseph Schmo

Should I do different things depending on generation? Like, my parents’ and grandparents’ generation use Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Schmo, but for my generation do something like Mr. Joseph and Ms. Jane Schmo? I really don’t want to offend anyone. As for myself, personal feelings aside, I wouldn’t be offended if we received an invitation as Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin Hamric after the wedding, although I might curse the patriarchal society of the past in my head a little. But, I wouldn’t be offended at the person who sent it. Does this mean it doesn’t really matter? Are there actually people who will get offended over this sort of thing?

Maybe I should just forget all the formalities and address them as Jane and Joseph Schmo and move on.

I won a copy of “The Wedding Ceremony Planner” on Weddingbee a few weeks ago. It has different selections for each part of the ceremony that you can pick and choose from and customize. It includes a couple things that I’d never seen done, but seem pretty neat.

One of the things we were looking for when picking an officiant was someone who would allow us to really customize our ceremony. We know that we don’t want to say the cookie-cutter “till death do us part” vows. We also know there will be at least one reading, and I found a really neat ceremony a few weeks back that we want to include as well. We’re still iffy on the unity candle/sand ceremony.

We briefly went through the book and read several of the vows and ring exchange portions aloud. There were a few we liked, and a few we wouldn’t use in a million years, but overall it’s looking to be a pretty useful book.

Pre-Planning - 100% complete

Pick a wedding date and time. *

Purchase a binder to organize all paperwork.

Choose a color scheme.

Bride’s Attire - 59% complete

Begin looking at pictures of gowns.

Try on gowns in stores.

Purchase gown. - July

Purchase any special undergarments. - in progress

Begin fittings.

Purchase headpiece.

Purchase veil.

Purchase shoes.

Pick up gown.

Purchase garter.

Find something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.

Groom’s Attire - 25% complete

Start planning style of tuxedo.

Decide on style.

Have measurements done.

Pick up all tuxedos.

Wedding Party - 50% complete

Ask bridesmaids/groomsmen to be in the wedding party. *

Ask flower girl(s)/ringbearer(s) to be in the wedding party. *

Start shopping for bridesmaid dresses.

Make sure all bridesmaids have purchased dress.

Make sure flower girl dresses have been purchased.

Start planning groomsmen’s attire.

Decide on groomsmen’s attire.

Get measurements from all groomsmen and other attendants where required.

Buy wedding party gifts. - in progress

Money - 50% complete

Decide on a budget and who is contributing.

Confirm all final payment amounts with vendors.

Guests & Guest List - 14% complete

Begin working on a preliminary guest list.

Finalize the guest list.

Compile information on hotels for out-of-town guests. *

Call guests who haven’t RSVP’d.

Start putting together seating chart.

Finalize seating chart.

Make escort and table cards.

Gifts & Registering - 0% complete

Register for wedding gifts. *

Write thank you notes after showers.

Update registry before wedding if needed.

Write thank you notes after wedding.

Ceremony - 44% complete

Begin looking for an officiant.

Find an officiant.

Find a ceremony site. *

Meet with officiant to discuss ceremony structure.

Decide on any special performances or readings. - in progress

Begin working on ceremony programs. - in progress

Begin working on vows.

Finalize vows.

Finalize and print programs.

Buy/make flower girl baskets.

Buy/make ring bearer pillows.

Buy/make guestbook.

Designate guestbook attendant(s).

Designate program attendant(s).

Follow up meeting with officiant to go over timing and details.

Rehearse ceremony.

Reception - 40% complete

Visit several reception sites.

Book reception site. *

Reserve rental equipment, such as linens.

Confirm people who are giving toasts.

Confirm set-up and clean-up crews.

Flowers & Decoration - 42% complete

Set up appointments with various florists.

Choose florist.

Make or buy favors.

Purchase other decoration (candles, lighting, etc.). - in progress

Provide set-up crew with decorating diagrams.

Confirm delivery times and location with florist.

Invitations - 36% complete

Start working on invitation wording and design.

Finalize wording. - in progress (still working on inserts)

Order/create invitations. - in progress

Pick up/print finished invitations. - in progress

Start addressing invitations.

Purchase postage.

Mail out invitations.

Music - 63% complete

Start interviewing DJs.

Book DJ.

Begin auditioning ceremony musicians.

Book ceremony musicians.

Choose ceremony music. - in progress

Choose special reception songs (first dance, etc.). - in progress

Provide DJ with list of must-play and must-not-play songs.

Take dance lessons.

Food & Drink - 0% complete

Attend tastings.

Finalize menu.

Finalize alcohol selections.

Hire waitstaff and bartenders.

The Cake - 13% complete

Begin looking for a baker. - in progress

Book a baker and choose wedding cake and groom’s cake designs.

Confirm head count, delivery time, and location with the baker.

Freeze the top layer of cake.

Photography - 40% complete

Interview and get price lists from several photographers.

Reserve photographer.

Schedule engagement photo session.

Attend engagement photo session.

Create must-take photo list.

Rings - 40% complete

Meet with jeweler to customize engagement ring.

Pick up engagement ring.

Shop for and purchase wedding bands.

Have wedding bands engraved.

Pick up wedding bands.

Pre-Wedding Pampering - 0% complete

Go on wedding diet (haha).

Decide on hairstylist and makeup artist.

Have a trial run of hair and makeup.

Schedule wedding day appointments.

Get a massage and/or other spa/beauty treatments.

The Wedding Day - 10% complete

Create timeline and schedule. - in progress

Distribute schedule and contact list to all parents, attendants, and vendors.

Put together an overnight bag for wedding night.

Designate someone to collect wedding gifts brought to the reception.

Designate someone to collect wedding dress and tuxedo after wedding.

Related Events - 14% complete

Start planning the rehearsal dinner.

Plan rehearsal dinner.

Send rehearsal dinner invites.

Provide guest list to bridesmaids for shower.

Provide guest list to bridesmaids for bachelorette party.

Provide guest list to groomsmen for bachelor party.

Have thank you party for attendants (bridesmaids’ luncheon, etc.).

Honeymoon - 17% complete

Begin research on different locations.

Decide on location.

Book flights.

Get passports, if needed.

Reserve hotel reservations for wedding night and honeymoon.

Pack.

Miscellaneous - 0% complete

Contact newspapers to announce engagement.

Pre-marital counseling for marriage license discount.

Get marriage license.

Submit wedding announcement to newspapers.

Do paperwork to change name.

* Requires website update.

Overall - 34% complete

Lots of damask this month.

The wedding is officially one year away!! I can’t believe we’ve been engaged over four months. They have absolutely flown by.

Today’s photography is brought to you by North Carolina photographers, Whitebox Weddings. Check out their blog. They have some really creative ring shots, and lots of gorgeous shoe pictures as well! Speaking of shoes…

Wearing red shoes seems to have become some sort of trend. Here’s a few of my favorite Whitebox photos:

Ben and I have been dating for four years today (although, I think our first kiss [what we judge our anniversary date by] was after midnight, so it might technically be May 2, but oh well, we’ve always celebrated it as the first). I was somewhere a few months ago, and I told someone I was engaged. They said, “Wow, that’s quick!” and I said, “We’ve been together almost four years, what do you mean quick?” They hadn’t realized that we’ve been together for that long, and it is hard to believe that four years have gone by.

This will be the last time we really celebrate our dating anniversary, since our five year anniversary next year will be the night of our rehearsal dinner. That anniversary (and all the many ones that follow) will be more of a celebration of our marriage than our dating years.

So today’s tribute is to us through the years.

May 2004

Not the greatest picture, but it’s from what we consider our first date.

May 2005

From Matt and Sabrina’s wedding.

April 2006

From MTAC.

May 2007

From Becka and Jason’s wedding.

April 2008

From MTAC.

Sharley and Jeremiah’s wedding is one of the most recent ones I’ve attended. They were married in September of 2007. It was a busy month for weddings, and the third I went to that month (the first two being ones that I coordinated). It was held at the gorgeous Shadowbrook in Joelton.

Ceremony: Held on the back patio of Shadowbrook. I remember the flower girl being overly enthusiastic about throwing flower petals. (I have this on video, but my camera’s cable is on the fritz.) I remember the cat that decided to weave its way from one side of the patio to the other - comic relief! Things I remember about the ceremony itself: the “Hands of the Bride and Groom” reading and the sand ceremony.

Reception: Held inside. The bar and dancing were downstairs and the food was upstairs. It was a little confusing as to know when to go upstairs for the food, but it wasn’t bad. The biggest thing I remember that Sharley wishes no one did is the little bit of cake smashing Jeremiah did after the cake cutting.

I also remember dancing quite a bit.

You may notice that a certain color scheme seems a little popular. Sabrina and Sharley both had white, black, and red as their colors. My color decision was not based on this, as anyone who knows me knows that black and red are my favorite colors (see my ring and my car and the majority of my wardrobe). However, I’m aiming for less red than Sabrina’s wedding and more than Sharley’s, lol.